Have you heard of this? I hadn't until I checked my hotmail and saw this article and thought, is that what I have been going through for the past few months? Well, one thing is for sure and that is that I am certainly not where I wanted to be at the age that I am, and I certainly do think about it constantly trying daily to do what I can to close the gap on my plan and my actual achievement. Here is a quote from the article I just read.
"There’s a strong message in society that women are expected to have a successful career, a good salary, strong friendships, a toned body, have found their life partner, be married and have children all by the time their 35. We only need to switch the TV on or open a magazine to be bombarded with images of successful career women with perfect figures and a happy, chuckling baby balanced on their hip, holding down a busy job, kissing their perfect husband, all the while smiling broadly to the camera. Even to the most dynamic amongst us, it can make life seem pretty impossible. So, how can today’s woman compete with that kind of propaganda?"- Liz Frost, Are you Heading for a Quarter Life Crisis?
You remember how this used to happen to middle aged men who suddenly felt their youth slipping away and start working out and cheating on their wives with younger women. This is a completely different thing somehow and much worse. This is when you haven't even lost your youth yet, but you feel like you haven't gotten to where you are supposed to be yet, and time is running out.
Apparently this happens more to women and I think that makes sense to me. All the women I know seem to have an internal planner that men don't seem to have. Tim doesn't worry about where he is compared to other guys, at least I don't think so. I guess the problem really is that these internal planners seem to have been written by outside imposed expectations. I think the media is involved, but basically its comparison with other people. Women love to compare, and even when they fancy themselves absolutely-one-hundred-percent-individually minded wonder how they are really measuring up to other women if they seem to be lagging behind. They are the ones who make excuses like, "Oh that's not my thing, I like to go against the grain. I just don't worry about that kind of stuff." YEAH RIGHT! They do, I know because, I fancy myself absolutely-one-hundred-percent-individually minded but I am totally not when it comes to this stuff. I am vulnerable to these comparisons of trends, conventions and TRADITION.... TRADITION! Get the musical theatre joke there? This whole comparison thing wouldn't be so bad except that there is probably too much choice out there and we are unsure if we are ever making the right decisions to get us to these goals. Unfortunately not a lot of these choices are really in our control, but we are lead to believe that they are. And when we start comparing, we certainly think if we only get ourselves under control we could get to where we wanted faster.
Well, I think what we all need is some self- esteem and faith. You don't get anywhere without self-esteem that's worth going, and you certainly get nowhere without faith. Like for example, it is not under my control how many houses are on the market in my price range, but I gotta have faith that God will give us the house He wants us to have. It's not a matter of control, it's a matter of surrender and acceptance (which I am slowly learning, turtle-slow that is). So I don't know really, but I think it's an ongoing process. The important thing as always is to be "in the moment" accept things as they are so you can enjoy them without wishing away your entire life trying to get somewhere and then realizing that you got to a lot of places but spent the whole time at each one, looking at the map and missed the scenery on the way. I don't know where all this wisdom is coming from, but I think part of it is what I need to tell myself, so I guess it all came out like a pep talk to all women who may be undergoing a Quarter Life Crisis. Let's seize the day and enjoy what we're learning huh?
"There’s a strong message in society that women are expected to have a successful career, a good salary, strong friendships, a toned body, have found their life partner, be married and have children all by the time their 35. We only need to switch the TV on or open a magazine to be bombarded with images of successful career women with perfect figures and a happy, chuckling baby balanced on their hip, holding down a busy job, kissing their perfect husband, all the while smiling broadly to the camera. Even to the most dynamic amongst us, it can make life seem pretty impossible. So, how can today’s woman compete with that kind of propaganda?"- Liz Frost, Are you Heading for a Quarter Life Crisis?
You remember how this used to happen to middle aged men who suddenly felt their youth slipping away and start working out and cheating on their wives with younger women. This is a completely different thing somehow and much worse. This is when you haven't even lost your youth yet, but you feel like you haven't gotten to where you are supposed to be yet, and time is running out.
Apparently this happens more to women and I think that makes sense to me. All the women I know seem to have an internal planner that men don't seem to have. Tim doesn't worry about where he is compared to other guys, at least I don't think so. I guess the problem really is that these internal planners seem to have been written by outside imposed expectations. I think the media is involved, but basically its comparison with other people. Women love to compare, and even when they fancy themselves absolutely-one-hundred-percent-individually minded wonder how they are really measuring up to other women if they seem to be lagging behind. They are the ones who make excuses like, "Oh that's not my thing, I like to go against the grain. I just don't worry about that kind of stuff." YEAH RIGHT! They do, I know because, I fancy myself absolutely-one-hundred-percent-individually minded but I am totally not when it comes to this stuff. I am vulnerable to these comparisons of trends, conventions and TRADITION.... TRADITION! Get the musical theatre joke there? This whole comparison thing wouldn't be so bad except that there is probably too much choice out there and we are unsure if we are ever making the right decisions to get us to these goals. Unfortunately not a lot of these choices are really in our control, but we are lead to believe that they are. And when we start comparing, we certainly think if we only get ourselves under control we could get to where we wanted faster.
Well, I think what we all need is some self- esteem and faith. You don't get anywhere without self-esteem that's worth going, and you certainly get nowhere without faith. Like for example, it is not under my control how many houses are on the market in my price range, but I gotta have faith that God will give us the house He wants us to have. It's not a matter of control, it's a matter of surrender and acceptance (which I am slowly learning, turtle-slow that is). So I don't know really, but I think it's an ongoing process. The important thing as always is to be "in the moment" accept things as they are so you can enjoy them without wishing away your entire life trying to get somewhere and then realizing that you got to a lot of places but spent the whole time at each one, looking at the map and missed the scenery on the way. I don't know where all this wisdom is coming from, but I think part of it is what I need to tell myself, so I guess it all came out like a pep talk to all women who may be undergoing a Quarter Life Crisis. Let's seize the day and enjoy what we're learning huh?
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